By Olanrewaju Azeez
No marriage is perfect, hence couples should learn to accommodate one another’s peculiarities in order to have a peaceful home.
This was the thrust of messages by marriage counsellors at a seminar organised for Muslim couples in Alimosho Area of Lagos State by the Pearl Rose Foundation at the weekend.
The theme of the Couples seminar, “….So that you find tranquility in them,” was derived from the glorious Qur’an Chapter 30 verse 21 which emphasised that the goal of marriage is for the couple to live peacefully with one another.
The seminar was also used to enlighten participants on the need to embrace polygamy, with counsellors sharing practical experiences on how to navigate the challenges in the institution.
In an opening remark, a guest at the seminar, Eng. AbdusSemiu Hussain, said the occasion was a celebration of the couples’ successes and an avenue to mend challenges in their marriages.
He said the participating couples should thank Almighty Allah for sustaining their marriages despite the various to challenges, noting that a lot of marriages in the society had collapsed on flimsy excuses
A Professional Marriage Counsellor, Mr Sulaimon Dhikrullah Ogunmuyiwa, said that there cannot be any marriage without issues, explaining that even the best of creatures, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his wives had issues.
Ogunmuyiwa, however, noted that couples should understand various needs in the marriage and work around them to have a blissful home.
Some of those needs he identified include love and affection, respect, quality time, communication, spiritual uplift, shared values and goals, home chores support, protection, fun and happiness among others.
He advised the couples to reminisce on their joyful beginning, the sweet love memories whenever issues arise, warning that they should not allow the devil to sow discords in their marriages.
According to Ogunmuyiwa, the devil derives happiness in seeing couples quarrel and eventual divorce.
During a panel discussion on polygamy, Ustaz Saheed Aro and Dr Fatimah Afolabi shed light on some of the issues that often agitating the minds of Muslim men and women, especially the one welcoming new co-wife.
Ustaz Aro emphasised that marrying another wife is advisable for capable Muslim men because of the society need.
He said that there are a lot of women of marriageable age in the society who are unable to find husbands.
“Apart from this, if you observe very well you discover that men die earlier than women, and if you look at the ratio of male to female births, we have more girls than boys,” he added.
He advised those who intend taking second wives to undergo proper counselling and fear Allah in dealing with the two wives.
Dr Afolabi, on her part, said polygamy is ordained by Allah and rejecting it means going against His injunction.
She noted that what often causes discord is the wrong mindsets by first wives that the incoming is an assistant rather than co-wife.
She also advised women who are being married as second wives to go for thorough counselling, and not to see their co-wives as rivals but partners in progress.
The one day seminar, held at Cedar Point Event Centre, Alimosho, was fun-filled with lots of side attractions such as games, online quizzes and presentation of prizes to the best dressed couples, most punctual couples and others.