By Abdulmumeen Abdulquadir
Singles have been advised to build self-esteem and self-love before stepping into marriage.
This was the emphasis made at the Alimosho Singles’ Seminar organised by some professionals within Alimosho Local Government Area on Sunday, 22nd September, 2024.
The seminar, which was attended by close to 200 singles from across Alimosho and beyond, is aimed at educating the Muslim youths and carving roundly formed personalities out of them.
This, according to the organisers, will help them be the best versions of all and attract the best spouses when they are ready to settle down.
It featured lecture, contribution, interactive session, and kahoot game session that brought down the house.
In an opening remark, chairman of the organizing committee, Mr. Kazeem Lawal, said that over time, the youths have been preoccupied with frivolities, and there is a need to help them retrace their steps.
He said the aim of Singles’ Seminar is to systemically liberate the larger society through prospective homebuilders.
“The programme is designed to educate the Muslim youths on self-esteem and also ensure that they undergo a robust 360° personality formation.
“We realise that the youths are wrongly engaged. Many are engrossed in games, social media, the internet, and what have you. We felt there was more to life than those, so we (some Muslim professionals in Alimosho) came together to organise this programme, focus on personality development of the youths in question, and reform them all-round.”
According to Mr. Lawal, the focus is not to matchmake or link singles up, but to make them better persons that will attract wonderful spouses, with whom they will establish beautiful homes and champion a better society.
“We have spoken on ‘Journey to Love’ in the past, for them to know that it’s not just about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend or being entangled in some ‘situationship.’ This year, especially, our goal is centred on boosting their confidence and worth.
“When you’re valuable, everyone would want to be with you.”
He warned against celibacy, stating that it is against the teachings of Islam. He said: “no one should boycott marriage because of hardship.
The Guest Speaker, Mr. Saheed Olasunkanmi, who spoke on ‘Building Self-esteem: a Journey to Self-discovery,’ advised singles to pay attention to everything that makes them a better person.
He said: “it is not enough that you have a high self-esteem, it’s also important that you have a good personality. That will help them in their relationship, when they get married, as they will be dealing with spouse and children after marriage.
“Moreover, celibacy is not even allowed Islam. You are to for half of your deen, and complete the other half in your nikkah. So, it is not advisable to boycott marriage in a bid to avoid marital issues. It is the human nature and it’s not permissible in Islam, so, you have to get married and fulfil half of your deen.”
He warned against delaying marriage because of hardship, as things may even get worse.
A discussant at the seminar, Mrs. Nafisah Ogunbona, motivated the participants into loving themselves.
Stressing the relevance of self-love, Ogunbona, who is a Clinical psychologist, said “people who don’t value or love themselves enough are bound to have problems in marriage. You will not thrive in the marriage and it will affect the children because you won’t be able to teach them how to love themselves, and as such, it becomes a generational trauma.
“You should know that you’re raising nation builders and your lack of self-love will manifest in the way you talk to them, so, learn to love yourself before anything,’ she emphasised.
The participants lauded the organisers while noting that there is room for improvement.
One of them, Abdul-Hafeez Abiodun, observed that “I love the programme in its entirety. I only feel that there is room for improvement.”
Umul-Khair Yusuf said, “This is a great improvement upon the previous editions that I have attended. Everyone has put in so much effort, from the organisers, to the resource persons and everyone who has contributed in one way or the other. May the Almighty reward them all.
May this be beneficial to the participants. The society is really toxic